Do nothing

We dream of doing nothing that will gain upon us in another country where we know no one, and we can throw away the eternal and heavy burden of expectations. We imagine us walking on the beach in the waves crashing ashore at sunset, holding hands with the love of our lives. We imagine waking up in a log house in the middle of the forest on the shores of a fabulous little lake in the embrace of snow-white, caressing bedding, and on the terrace absorbing the fragrant mountain air deeply, we promise that now we will really live differently.

Yet nothing changes. There is only work at home. We work around the clock. We don’t even have to be there; it goes in our head. Thoughts spin, we are full of to-do lists, and we are horrified that it is as if we are not going anywhere at all. We stand still and are terribly ashamed to do anything. That’s really from the devil. We don’t devote time to something that clearly distinguishes a vacation from an ordinary weekday. We don’t allow ourselves to break out of that consuming daily routine, because we’re used to it, and then we certainly have to do it, there’s no fairy tales, we have to deal with it. You can have so good conversations at home too! We must decide that this has a place in our lives because it is completely nonsense to only drain that battery and never charge it. So, what makes a vacation different? No forced cleaning, no garden work, no emails, calls, messages, we turn off. Why not turn it off at home? Who says take your work home? Leave it there at work, there is a place for it. Sure, everyone does his or her job differently, but I do see many times that it’s not the job that clings to the person, but the other way around. If we want to make up for something in our lives, then the most obvious solution is to hide behind work and say you must, that’s it. But that only gets us further away from finding ourselves in that dense forest.

We don’t like to relax because they’ll condemn you. Even if no one knows about it, then we will condemn ourselves for it, because it is a perfectly anti-life behavior. He who does nothing is lazy, it will not become anything, it will not lead to anything. Is this true? There are so tortured gray faces running around the world that they could even be robots. Would that be right? Is this the way to live? Self-whipping, perfectionism. The morning routine starts, rush, the morning goes by without noticing it, should eat something, probably later, still have something to do, and so we run until late at night, when we still don’t want to let ourselves rest. Believe me, I live this too. Sometimes I would need to do so many things at once that I don’t even feel like starting.

And I never praise myself like wow, you did it skillfully, and I rarely get the reward of sitting down and doing nothing. Or to do what I really like because I think about how many things could still be done at that time. It’s the certain point when I simply must stop and ask if I really need to put in another wash, clean the kitchen cabinet doors, or rather turn a little bit inward. There’s a rumble in my ear that I could do everything better, that I could do a lot more, and sometimes I would have to slap myself up and I’m not even exaggerating. Why do I overwork myself so much then, since I already know that it will hit me back if I just take advantage of this body? I understand the truly valuable things in life are certainly not born of these activities.

It cannot be voiced enough. Joy, peace, placidity requires awareness. We need that hug and it should be long. Why does kiss medicine work for children? Because they still know, feel what power love has. Well, you can’t find that while you’re doing the dishes. Don’t be ashamed of yourself if you feel you need a little time when you’re doing something you enjoy, it’s quite human. It is not a sin, in fact give it to yourself, demand it, because you gain more with it than with any other activity. And how interesting that most of us feel the flow while doing arts or sports because it’s natural. Run, hike, swim, bicycle, and turn up the volume. Let the music energize you! Dance, sing, draw, paint, throw your thoughts on paper, make music out loud, and immerse yourself in the feeling. You didn’t get your talent to put it in the corner saying you can’t make a living from it. Look deeply for what motivates you, what you are always happy to do and don’t let it disappear into the maze of everyday life.

Have a holiday in your soul every day and be grateful for it, thank yourself for giving a chance because you are doing it for a more balanced life. Eat good, don’t worry so much about cleaning, the job, the things to do, and most of all, don’t rush. Read, relax, enjoy your life! Play, laugh, love, and let that feeling come close. When I went very deep in my life, I also vowed, of course, it doesn’t always go so well. I wondered if I would really want to remember that, if I was worth it, to be able to remember it at all. When I will sum up my life, do I really want to see how clean the house was and how much I rushed to get ahead, to meet others expectations, while many valuable, wonderful years, my youth, passed me by with no content at all? No. That’s not what I want to see. So, I’m creating the world I want to live in, and I’m writing its pages full of stories that I’ll be happy to read back, even if I have to face difficulties sometimes. It will be about love, being together, understanding, great conversations, playing, gratitude and joy. I accept that everything changes, and yet in this perpetual change, I will always strive for balance. Because it’s my decision. You can decide that too. I fill my thoughts with a lot of positive energy, and it flows from my words, I pass that on with my actions. Is it difficult? Yep! But it’s worth doing.

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